Dissecting my CV - thoughts so far.

My CV is an array of confusion. Working in hospitality for multiple years, having a 1st degree in dance, being a S&C PT, yoga teacher, pilates instructor, facial & dry needle therapist and all the other trainings & titles that make up my practice & the person I am today. 

However, as we have started to discuss within this module, it's not necessarily about the titles and descriptions of what we do, it's actually what we have learnt & have we have evolved along the way.  How these experiences have impacted us & moulded us to be the person we are right now & how those changes occurred. 

So what are my potential areas of subjective and internal reflection, how can I dissect these a little further to help me understand & grow more, to understand my own learning, self & then evolve again? This is my first word vomit on this...

 Areas I have started to ponder are:

* play, embodiment & adaption - movement heals, movement is a form of meditation, a form of processing and a way to get the body and mind feeling good and in a more harmonious state. The way I am drawn to move changes often - S&C workout, mat flow, hiking, structured flow, goal orientated, somatic releases, all the different methods. Some days its a slog and hard work, other days it's all I want to do. And I know I'm not alone in this. Briefly reflecting upon this fact, I am beginning to see patterns in what is a more efficient way of moving to tick more of the boxes. And a methodological to approach this. I’ve noticed that I’ve almost started creating a development strategy to how to use movement to help that client in the best way. I’ll try something out, usually a a flow which I’ve created due to my desire to move in a certain way, adapt & use this flow with a client & see what response it causes in them - i.e. was it too challenging, did it evoke an emotional response, did it produce the desired effect physiologically & mentally. Then take it back to my mat using their response to rework and embody the movement with a new insight with the ability to improve it. Something that I have also begin to notice is it if I don't use this method of embodiment, play and structure, due to being ‘too busy’ or not regimented enough with my time &  then the affects that I am wanting from the movement won't be felt by either party & it seemingly a pointless session. So where has this approach come from & what else can I reflect & learn from this?

texts areas to potentially use for citation (reading around) - somatic / embodied meditation, goal orientated methodologies,  

* the pandemic - this, as with the majority of the globe, changed my whole outlook and business structure. Until this point I was working with clients in person only, as well as travelling to work on retreats & being posted out in countries to work with a specific group of people and their needs. Yet within a week I was forced to review, redesign and rebuild a new way of working. For someone who generally doesn't like being the forefront of attention and prefers working on a one-to-one basis; building an online teaching business seemed almost the polar opposite of what I enjoy. Staring at a screen, looking/listening to myself, being in one place, and learning to feel/see somebody's energy and body from a completely visual perspective, not my initial idea of a fulfilling business. 

So what did this teach me? And how did I grow? From a teaching perspective I learnt how to verbally cue & talk about the biomechanics of the body & movement more efficiently, how to use & integrate different methods of teaching so the client could do what I was asking them - recognising which clients are more visual learners, others audible & how to keep them engaged. From a more personal perspective I learnt that I was becoming complacent in how I was teaching and how my business was structured, I learnt how much stillness and being in one place gave me a sense of grounding and growth that I hadn't experienced before, it taught me how intention & integrity is key i.e. what I wanting to gift to the world can and will change, evolve and develop yet if I stick with my intention and the reasoning why I am doing something I will feel I will feel fulfilled no matter what that looks like. 

texts area to use for citation (reading around) adaptation, expanded visions, intention/integraty (start with why by Simon Sinek)

* teacher trainings - I have an addiction to continual development… I just want to know it all. If there is an area that sparked my interest I will fully invest so that I can know as much as possible and then want to pass this information on to help others. Not the worst addiction, but something that has certainly caused internal conflict. Quite a lot of the time I spend reiterating to my clients that I do not hold all the answers, I am not the Guru on everything, and they are the only ones that truly know what is happening, I can purely facilitate their healing. Yet I have recognised that I do not necessarily believe this myself. And upon reflection on the  multiple trainings that I have taken, I often walk away thinking I learnt a little bit but majority of it I already knew. So I find this quite an interesting point of reflection. I seem to not trust my own extensive and expanded learning and knowledge, unless I have a certificate in it, and even then it takes multiple years for me to embrace this learning and pass it forward with conviction & belief that I know.

texts area to use for citation (reading around)...

* managing a gym and multiple sites - entering a company from a very low level and in a very short period of time managing a team, a club and different contracted sites was challenging. Not only challenging in the sense of learning to work with different personality types from investors to other employees and members expectations but also challenging in my belief that I am worthy capable and have support within the role. Within this role I was pushed to my very limits physically and mentally. It caused severe anxiety, stress and a complete disconnect to myself. After external input I then recognised this… Better late than never… And as much as I am still healing from this, mostly on a physiological perspective. It has been one of my greatest lessons. I learnt the importance of self-care, structure and of regular ‘off’ time. I am certainly still not the greatest at but I have seen the product of not doing it at all. 

texts areas to use for citation (reading around)...

These are all quite fresh ideas & certainly things I need to digest, dissect & discuss a LOT more, but I would love to know what you guys think, do you have any ideas or comments on my word vomit, am I doing it right or even some recommended reading material?

Thanks & looking forward to reading & reflecting with you x